Republican presidential candidate and former Texas Gov. Rick Perry (R) has had enough of Donald Trump’s insults. Perry challenged Trump to a contest that really matters, a pull-up contest. This is like when two boys argue over whose dad would win in a fight.
Trump has thrown countless insults at Perry about how the former governor is stupid and not tough. Perry is a self-proclaimed tough guy and decided he’s not going to take being called a wimp lying down. Call Perry an idiot, buffoon, or anything that insults his lack of intelligence, but don’t call him a wimp. You’re asking for it, then.
“Let’s get a pull-up bar out there and let’s see who can do the most pull-ups,” said Perry.
That’s perfect, because there isn’t a person in this world that Americans would rather have as their Commander-in-Chief than a certified calisthenics champion. Is Wall Street rigging the market again? We’ll settle this with sit-ups. ISIS is threatening the United States? Squats challenge. More congressional gridlock? Jumping jacks and calf-raises will fix that.
While we’re at it, let’s throw out elections, the Supreme Court, and the Electoral College. Everything in America will be decided by lunge and crunch contests. Useful and intelligent discourse will become a thing of the past. Considering how argumentative Congress is, we’re looking at an American fitness revolution. We’re just waiting on Trump’s response.
