Since his exit from the 2016 presidential race, Florida Senator Marco Rubio has maintained a relatively low profile, telling press that he plans to be a private citizen once January comes.
On Monday night, Rubio made his reappearance on Twitter in a big way, going on a delightfully sarcastic Twitter rant in which he bemoaned the bloodthirsty nature of print media and mocked recent speculative articles about his future political plans.
The following chain of tweets is long, but so, so entertaining.
Funny to read about unnamed “people close” to me who claim to know my thinking on future plans.They just make it up. https://t.co/jiEYMugVHz
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Unnamed sources “close to” often just people who want to sound like they are in the know. And reporters desperate for content just accept it
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Flashback to another article quoting a “longtime friend” saying I “hate” Senate. Words I have NEVER said to anyone. https://t.co/VZ9J7wznsZ
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Word of advice, people often claim to know more than they really do because they enjoy status of being perceived as “in the know”.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Another genius line claims that Im “a bit at sea in terms of his next step politically”. Ummmm Not really. https://t.co/jiEYMugVHz
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
A quick “like” betrays Marco’s age:
I have only said like 10000 times I will be a private citizen in January.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
A cheeky jab at Trump and the Republican party here:
As for future in politics, well it’s nearly impossible for someone not in office to ever become a successful candidate for President.Right?
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
So far, Rubio has been annoyed and expressing real grievances against the media. Now, though, the Florida kid has a bit of fun creating his own controversial headlines.
A source “close to Rubio” says he was tired after long day & has decided to sleep for a few hours before tomorrow’s ZIKA debate in Senate.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
A “longtime friend” says Rubio is “betwixt and between when it comes to whether to chest or legs tomorrow at gym.”
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
According to source who knows his cousins, wife’s dentist, Rubio could do cardio instead.
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
Then, clearly someone gave Rubio a ring and told him to tone it down a bit before he posted this final tweet for the evening:
Ok that’s enough for one night. Twitter isn’t something you should just rush back into. You have to slowly increase the dosage…….
— Marco Rubio (@marcorubio) May 17, 2016
I may be in the minority here, but if you are so inclined to crush on people who are ideologically opposed to yourself, this tweet storm may have just increased your hate crush by about 25 percent.
